What a boring font.

I can't believe that the doodly-do poem got more discussion, however indirect, than the toaster-being proposal. Maybe I should try to merge the two:

A toaster doesn't know
that it's a toaster, oaster, oaster
It doesn't see me frying scrambled eggs

The toaster doesn't think
that it's a toaster, oaster, oaster
The toaster doesn't know that I have legs

My toaster doesn't love me
but it's okay, oaster, oaster
It doesn't like to listen to music, either.

This was not written by me: (though it was typed by me)

"We do,
doodly do, doodly do, doodly do,
What we must,
muddily must, muddily must, muddily must,
Muddily do,
muddily do, muddily do, muddily do,
Until we bust,
bodily bust, bodily bust, bodily bust."

I have occasionally been thinking, over the past two or three days, about what it must be like to be a toaster. I don't know why I decided to use 'toaster' as my object, and I haven't actually thought of anything definite about, or decided on, what it must be like to be a toaster. But, still:

I figure that for most of the time, for a toaster, it's just the same as most of the other time; that is, things don't change much, from moment to moment, for a toaster. A toaster can't look around at different things, or think about different things, or remember different things. But, at a given moment, which for a toaster is much like most other given moments, it must be lots of different things to be a toaster. It's metal, and plastic, and some electricity, and probably a lot of bread crumbs, and other things.

Now I feel like I'm getting somewhere. Because, while it may be one thing to be a piece of metal, or a bread crumb, it is definitely something different to be a toaster. I will call this, here, 'toaster-being'.

But, maybe, the reason for picking a toaster was something to some degree explicit in my own brain, because there's such an obvious point to make: lucky toasters get a minute of excitement every day! Or more! So, for a toaster, it's mostly just toaster-being, but then, at some point in the day (we don't have to assume that toasters have days for this to be valid syntax), there's sudden spring-loaded tension, tension, electricity coursing, heat, radiation of light, and then sudden tension release! It sounds exciting. I think this is why I picked 'toaster'.

Other suggestions on potential variations, or further specifications, on the general realm of toaster-being? I'm sure they exist. I might not think of them, though.

Hereafter, this shall be my icon,
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.