Tuesday, February 28, 2006

The stars, like peanuts

Argo: Lately I've been really staticky. I don't understand why.

Bellboy: You mean you keep getting shocks?

Argo: Yeah. Every time I touch anything metal, I get a little shock. It's been going on for weeks.

Bellboy: I've had that happen before. It's probably a combination of this weird weather and the fact that you don't use fabric softener.

Argo: The weather has been strange, hasn't it? It's freezing one day, then nice and warm the next; then a big storm, then it's cold, then it snows. It's like the seasons have been alternating every half week. Everything seems out of sync.

Bellboy: I've been thinking about that global isochrony thing, you know? How time is the same wherever you go. It's strange to think about, about how there's this rigid time-structure all over the planet, and that people obey it like crazy, but that there are these natural forces that just drift around, oblivious, paying no attention at all.

Argo: I've wondered if you can see it from space. Maybe the whole planet is ticking, you know? Especially during the day time, but probably all over; maybe there's this periodic hourly pulse emitted from the surface of the Earth, along with the background noise created by thunderstorms and random human activity. An hourly pulse, probably blurred over a few minutes, on noise, windowed by a 24 hour amplitude cycle.

Bellboy: That's crazy, man.

(Ms Sandy enters)

Ms Sandy: I demand to know what's going on! Where are Dr Walmarto's slippers? I told you, you ugly bellboy, you are not to bring that monstrosity onto this property!

Argo: I take offense at that, cow.

Ms Sandy: What did you-

Bellboy: The monstrosity isn't here, Ms Sandy, it's home recharging. We were just standing here, discussing something.

Ms Sandy: Was it global isochrony? Were you discussing global isochrony again? It's almost nine o' clock, there is work to be done, and I will not have this talk of global isochrony! It's madness!

Bellboy: It's not madness, it's-

Ms Sandy: Bellboy, shut your ugly mouth! Argo, to the kitchen, we have a banquet to prepare for. Where is Nina? Ugly little Nina!

(Ms Sandy leaves)

Argo: That woman is doomed. She has sealed her stinking, crawling fate.

Bellboy: Could you cook me a grilled cheese sandwich? I'm starving.

Argo: Sure, I'll send Pablo out.

(Argo leaves)

Bellboy: The engine of the Earth's peoples carries on, pulsing into space, ticking like a clock, rotating and revolving through the void! A tiny world teeming with pulsars, all calling our names, synchronized in perfect global isochrony!


  1. Hello Ms Sandy. We meet again, you crazy minx.

  2. the weather is bipolar. the seasons, obsessive-compulsive.

  3. Yep, I have the discs. For Microsoft Office 2003, at any rate. But it has Word, Excel, Powerpoint, and publisher. I could mail them to you.