the murf has inspired me to post midi songs i have made (the first of these also has a nautical theme, you see):

I could turn them into MP3s so I could guarantee the sound reproduction, but I think most sound cards have the same midi synthesizers now, so I guess it's okay. I would just worry about the balance, like whether all the tracks can be heard in the right proportions. They are all very noisy and repetitive, that is my fault, because I like things that way.

This one is has been around for a couple of years maybe, but the arrangement is new. Banjo, clavichord, and electric piano. It's the best of the three because it's very short and also very complete.

This one was made last week. I like it, but it's not complete at all, it just sort of repeats and builds and then suddenly stops because i couldn't think of what to do next.

This one is like five years old! It's a new arrangement, so it's fair to put it here. I made it when living in Andy Holt big tall building. It's sort of long and maybe boring, but i like it and it's in 5/4 time. Also, the melody is played by a midi bagpipe! Turn down the volume, watch out!

okay.

we've gotten wider

This is a jumping spider. Jumping spiders are everywhere. They are very small. This photograph is artificially enlarged, so do not worry. They are smarter than every other spider. This one got a 98 on an IQ test, which is very good for a spider. If you catch a jumping spider be careful, because they know what your nose is and they are able to get there by jumping through the air.

That's strange. I must have dreamed last night that I posted a long, complicated, probably meaningless post on this thing. Now I go to look, and I see my previous post having to do with my frustration that no one seems interested in talking with me about what a year looks like. I tell you, that's what it's like for me in the real world, too. No one wants to talk about what a year looks like. Sometimes I wonder if it makes me sad.

fine, then

everyone can claim that they don't see the year as a flattened ring laid on a flat, black, invisible surface. but i know it isn't true. i know that they see it.

hmm... nothing else.

I just ate a candy bar,
I just drank some coffee-
Where could I get some
Peanuts?

You see, I can't think of anything worth writing publicly about. So, I offer poetry to the world, poetry ripped from the darkest corners of my most innermost being.

So, tomorrow James (supposedly) and I drive about 860 miles to Texas. That's a long drive! But, luckily, it's not as long as the drive to Reno, since Reno's in Nevada, and Nevada is sort of on the other side of Texas. I mean, it's sort of on the other side, and sort of above it. I think. You see, I have sort of this map in my mind, and I see Nevada, which is where Reno is, being somewhere up and to the left of Texas. But, you know, we're sort of going down and left to get to Texas, so maybe it would be a straight shot to Reno. I could check but it wouldn't be worth it.

You may not believe it, but this entire post is a palindrome. That's right, it's exactly the same from forwards to backwards, and not just letter-by-letter, but also word-by-word! I didn't even have to think too hard about it, it all came very naturally. Even as I'm writing this, I can insert random phrases like 'this is a very nice handbag', and yet this entire post is still a palindrome. It's hard to believe, I know, but sometimes you just have to have faith that things are the way someone tells you they are, even if deep down you know that they aren't. Faith is very important, especially in the contruction of palindromic website posts. This morning I bought two pieces of black felt, for just 30 cents!

evidence

Sadly, Andrew has been eaten by all the papers he leaves lying around his office space. He may be missed.

Evidence is attached:

office

computer

desk

desk1

desk2

floor

screw embedding all that in html, i say. it wasn't worth it.

what would this alternate universe be like?

It's amazing.

At Symbolic Milepost, Bush to Hold News Conference Tonight By RICHARD W. STEVENSON 5:27 PM ETThe president will make his case for revamping Social Security and reassert himself at a moment when he is under pressure on a variety of fronts.• Live Video at 8 PM ET• Congress Reaches Deal on 2006 Budget• Frist Stands Firm on Filibuster DemandsIraq's Assembly Overwhelmingly Approves New Government By ROBERT F. WORTH 2:22 PM ETIraq's national assembly voted to approve a Shiite-led cabinet today, creating the first elected government in Iraqi history.• Audio Slide Show: John F. Burns of The Times• Complete Coverage: The Reach of WarNew Data Offer More Signs That Economy Is Weakening By JENNIFER BAYOT 3:10 PM ETThe U.S. economy slowed during the first quarter to its weakest pace in two years, the government reported today.• Text: Advance GDP Report (bea.gov)• Stocks Fall on Economic WorriesWoodpecker Thought to Be Extinct Is Sighted in Arkansas By JAMES GORMAN 12:18 PM ETThe ivory-billed woodpecker has been sighted in the watery tupelo swampland of a wildlife refuge in Arkansas.• Video: Footage of the Ivory-Billed Woodpecker

Like I said, it's amazing.

how does everyone like my new mustache?
i have to confess, I sort of copied it from this other famous guy. i used Photoshop! he's dead though, that other guy i forget his name, so i don't think anyone should mind.

bowl of cereal
coffee, some tomato soup
bite of macaroon

at this moment i'm gathering energy for a car ride to Bowling Green Kentucky! i'm going to drive there, in my recently slightly repaired blue Toyota car of nearly 7 years (and of seven modifiers! no, eight! no, nine! no...), to drop off a proposal which might allow me to get paid again for another year!

the topic of the proposal is behavioral testing of potential perceptual and cognitive modes of common household appliances, specifically toasters. the null hypothesis is that there will turn out to be no perceptual or cognitive modes whatsoever for toasters, though i don't know if there will be enough external validity to extend those findings to other appliances.

but, we never know what will happen. science can reveal wonderful things to us, if we listen closely to it, and try to estimate whether or not it has cognitive or perceptual modes which would serve as a substrate for the admittedly anthropomorphic property of revalatory capacity. this doesn't mean anything at all. i am an idiot.

now i have to drive! drive drive drive! drive!

What a boring font.

I can't believe that the doodly-do poem got more discussion, however indirect, than the toaster-being proposal. Maybe I should try to merge the two:

A toaster doesn't know
that it's a toaster, oaster, oaster
It doesn't see me frying scrambled eggs

The toaster doesn't think
that it's a toaster, oaster, oaster
The toaster doesn't know that I have legs

My toaster doesn't love me
but it's okay, oaster, oaster
It doesn't like to listen to music, either.

This was not written by me: (though it was typed by me)

"We do,
doodly do, doodly do, doodly do,
What we must,
muddily must, muddily must, muddily must,
Muddily do,
muddily do, muddily do, muddily do,
Until we bust,
bodily bust, bodily bust, bodily bust."

I have occasionally been thinking, over the past two or three days, about what it must be like to be a toaster. I don't know why I decided to use 'toaster' as my object, and I haven't actually thought of anything definite about, or decided on, what it must be like to be a toaster. But, still:

I figure that for most of the time, for a toaster, it's just the same as most of the other time; that is, things don't change much, from moment to moment, for a toaster. A toaster can't look around at different things, or think about different things, or remember different things. But, at a given moment, which for a toaster is much like most other given moments, it must be lots of different things to be a toaster. It's metal, and plastic, and some electricity, and probably a lot of bread crumbs, and other things.

Now I feel like I'm getting somewhere. Because, while it may be one thing to be a piece of metal, or a bread crumb, it is definitely something different to be a toaster. I will call this, here, 'toaster-being'.

But, maybe, the reason for picking a toaster was something to some degree explicit in my own brain, because there's such an obvious point to make: lucky toasters get a minute of excitement every day! Or more! So, for a toaster, it's mostly just toaster-being, but then, at some point in the day (we don't have to assume that toasters have days for this to be valid syntax), there's sudden spring-loaded tension, tension, electricity coursing, heat, radiation of light, and then sudden tension release! It sounds exciting. I think this is why I picked 'toaster'.

Other suggestions on potential variations, or further specifications, on the general realm of toaster-being? I'm sure they exist. I might not think of them, though.

Hereafter, this shall be my icon,
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair.

http://members.surfeu.fi/kklaine/primebear.html

I get sick of such a long post at the top of the list. This one is shorter, refreshing, cleansing.

Here are some facts about why things are the way they are:
1. Most of the energy in the frequency spectrum of a natural signal (noise, image, etc.) is at the low frequencies, and it drops off as a function of 1/f. This is because a big thing can have smaller things on it (like a field can have grass and rocks on it) but a small thing can't have bigger things on it. And also, as something gets smaller by x amount (i.e. * it by 1/x), its surface area gets another 1/x smaller (i.e. * it by 1/x squared). So the first 1/x is scaling wavelength, the inverse of frequency, and the second 1/x is like the potential energy at x (yes, at itself). Amazing!

So things have to be that way.

2. Most of the energy in natural scenes is at horizontal, and then vertical, orientations. This is because of gravity. Gravity makes things flat, causing horizons and other horizontal contours, and also vertical contours if you're up close and looking down on it. Living things, for one, contribute a lot to vertical energy. Otherwise (if they were dead) they'd be flat. So, on earth at least, you have tons of vertical symmetry, because they proper way for a thing to be is upright. Trees are vertical, people are vertical, cats are vertical, etc. So things also have to be that way.

3. Your brain already knows these things, even if you didn't know it knew. It's ready to process things in the environment according to regularities that it expects to find all over the place. This saves you time and energy, so you can expend it getting better at playing video games.

Now you've learned something! Tell everyone you know! But not engineers, they'll get picky on you. I hope no engineers are reading this.

Any day now I'll think of something else to write about. Any day now I'll think of something. Any day now. Any day.

Any day now.